The Boy is Mine
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: Not a songfic. Rated for language only at this point. A girl named Numi is obsessed with Eiri Yuki and is convinced that his books are about him and her together. What will happen to Yuki and Shuu? Will Numi ruin everything?


Numi looked up at the home of the famous romance novelist, Yuki Eiri. She smiled, clutching one of his books to her chest. She looked like a schoolgirl in her uniform and backpack. "I have finally found you, Yuki Eiri. Just like your books say, we are meant to be together." She then walked up to the front door and knocked.

Shindou Shuuichi was inside Yuki's home. He was attempting to make breakfast. He had been attempting to make breakfast for the past hour and a half. Yuki's entire kitchen was a mess. Egg shells were everywhere, dirty dishes were stacked up on the counters, there was batter spray from when Shuuichi had attempted to make a smoothy and failed miserably when he had forgotten to place the cover on top of the blender before turning it on. Although the room was messy, it had nothing on Shuuichi's attire. His clothes were caked in food and mess. He looked like a painter who had been swimming in his own paint.

When the doorbell had chimed, he called out, "I'll get it!" Like a little puppy, he rushed to the door and opened it. His face fell in embarrassment as he saw that it was a girl. Numi raised her eyebrows in surprise and even vulgar distaste. "Who are you?" She finally spoke. Shindou was a little taken aback by her demanding demeanor.

"Uh... who are _you_?"

"My name is Numi." She said offhandedly. It was quite evident that she did not want to talk to Shuuichi; that she felt Shuuichi was a waste of her time. "You are not Yuki Eiri. Where is he?"

"Yu-- Yuki?" Shuuichi asked, a little surprised. "Why do you want to see Yuki? Are you, like... his new editor, or something?"

"No." Numi replied. "I am here to see Eiri. He is my fianceé."

"A-- ANOTHER one?!" Shuuichi exclaimed. "How many fianceé's does this guy have?! Did his parents and yours set you two up too?"

"Of course not." She said calmly. "He and I are destined to be together."

"Wha...?" Numi had lost Shuuichi. As if to prove her point, Numi held out her favorite of Yuki's novels. It was battered and the spine was in despair because of all the times she had read it and re-read it.

"Yuki and I are meant to be together!" She exclaimed. "It says right here in this book!"

"What?"

Numi flipped through the pages and found one of the places she had marked. She read the excerpt aloud to Shuuichi. "'Her raven hair blew back in the wind as he moved towards her. He knelt in front of her and lightly kissed her hand. 'Sakura,' he said. 'I will forever love you the way you are. The way you're hair smells like flowers and the way your heart is filled with gold and sweetness. You are my one true love!' With that, he swept Sakura up into his arms and kissed her.'" After finishing her reading ((which she read like a soap-opera actress about to swoon)), she closed the book and looked up at Shuuichi expectantly; smiling. She was met by Shuuichi's face, which could only be described as this: o.O. "See?!" She said happily, as if her reading proved everything. "That is me! He is speaking to me! It is so obvious that he is meant to be mine!"

Shuuichi: o.O;;

Just then, there came a shout from inside the house. Yuki had come into the kitchen to get a drink when he saw the huge mess that Shuuichi had made. Needless to say, he was rather pissed. "SHUUICHI!!!!!" He yelled. Shuuichi cringed. He knew that he was in trouble. Yuki marched around the house, looking for the Bad Luck singer. "Shuuichi! Where the hell are you, Shuuichi?!" Numi gasped. Her eyes sparkled and she was transmitted into the land of shoujo-bubbliness.

"My Yuki!" She exclaimed. She then pushed Shuuichi aside and, with much determination, ran into the house. "Yuki-sama!" She cried, running up to him. Shuuichi, trying to save her from being killed, then got up hurriedly and ran after her.

"Shuuichi!"

"Hey... you!" Shuuichi forgot the girl's name. "Don't go in there!" Soon enough, they were all together in the main room of Yuki's home. Numi was standing, awestuck, by the wall. She was slightly out-of-view. Shuuichi and Yuki were standing across from each other and Yuki was glaring at his lover. Shuuichi had his head down and big puppy-dog eyes as though he knew exactly what he had done and how pissed Yuki was about it.

Yuki was the first of them to speak. "Shuuichi, you little shit! What they hell did you do to my kitchen?!" Shuuichi did not answer; just stood there with his head bowed. Yuki continued to yell at him. "You messed up everything! There is food everywhere! What the hell were you doing, dumbass?!"

"I was trying to make breakfast for you, Yuki!" Shuuichi yelled, finally speaking up. "I was doing something nice for you. All you can do is yell at me? What happened to the nice Yuki?!"

"The nice Yuki would still be around if the stupid Shuuichi would disappear!"

"Fuck you! Stop making fun of me, sadist!"

"I am not a damned sadist!"

All along, Numi stood there and stared at Yuki. Her eyes were sparkles; she was consumed by the sparkles.

"Then stop calling me names!"

"Stop destroying my kitchen!"

"It's mine too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Oh, Yuki DARLING!" At Numi's intervention, the fight between the two lovers finally came to a close. Yuki looked over at Numi, realizing her existance for the first time. Numi smiled and ran up to the writer, glomping her arms around him. Yuki froze. Yuki at the moment: O.O;; Shuuichi had his fists clenched and he was shaking with rage towards Numi for touching his Yuki. "I knew that I would find you!"

Finally, Yuki spoke again. "Who... who the hell are you?" He asked. Numi let go of Yuki and stood beside him, smiling.

"I'm Numi, of course." She replied simply. "Don't you know who I am? I'm your fianceé!"

"You're... not my finaceé..."

Numi then gasped, horrified. "Oh, Yuki! My sweety-kins! You don't remember me, do you?!" She placed her hand on his forehead then nodded understandingly. "Yep. You must have had amensia."

Yuki: o.O ??!!

Shuuichi: O.O!!!

"Am-- amnesia?!" Shuuichi exclaimed.

"Amnesia." Numi nodded her head. She looked a little concerned.

"You had amnesia, Yuki?" Shuuichi asked, tears in his eyes. He rushed to Yuki's side and hugged him tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Do you believe _everything_ you hear, Shindou?! I do not have amnesia!"

"But... she said you did!"

"Is she a doctor?!"

Shuuichi paused a moment. "I... I dunno." He looked over at Numi. "Are you a doctor?" Yuki's eyes narrowed. He could not believe he actually loved this idiot.

"No." Numi replied.

"Then why did you say he had amnesia?" Shuuichi inquired after letting go of Yuki.

"Because it's the only possible explanation! What else explains his feelings for forgetting me?! His one true love!"

"Who... are you again?" Shuuichi asked. Yuki rolled his eyes. He was in love with an idiot.

"I am Numi! I am Yuki's fianceé!"

"_I DO NOT HAVE A DAMNED FIANCEÉ_!" Yuki yelled, enraged.

"Oh, don't say such things, Yuki Eiri." She smiled, waving her hand back and forth in front of her to wave aside his words. "You have had amnesia. But never fear. I am the one who will make you remember."

_Owari_ (of first chappie)


End file.
